The Collection - The Disease

Dear Marjorie - My husband is 46 years old and spends most of his time playing with toy trains. He doesn't pay any attention to me these days.

Dear M - You have my deepest sympathy! Unfortunately, this condition is well known and is usually terminal. Very few people ever fully recover. However, you can turn this situation to your advantage! Trainaholics are so oblivious to their surroundings that you can bring as many men back to the house as you want - your man will never know!

Whatever you do though, don't get rid of your train fanatic - they are notoriously good at paying the bills! Blessings

When I first read this letter in a women's magazine I was shocked, devastated, mortified........

It took me a while to comprehend the truth in these words, but I am determined to 'clean up' my act.

No more trains!

The disease started .......... continue reading my incredibly boring history


Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Loading Guage - Mind Your Head

The loading gauge is defined as - The profile above the rail tracks through which a rail vehicle must pass. According to other sources the loading gauge is the profile of the train and the structure gauge is the size and profile of tunnels, bridges and doors through which the train must pass.

Therefore, the loading gauge MUST be smaller than the structure gauge. Sounds good on paper, but add 'human' to the equation and the results are sometimes very messy!

For the really macabre amongst our readers, there are some really scary photos of train wrecks at DarkRoastBlend


No more stinking litter trays! Train your cat to use a human toilet


The greatest problem for modern rail logistics is that international shipping containers come in numerous different sizes. Logically, an 8' tall container might sound safer than a 9'6" container, but when placed on the wrong type of truck bed, the results can be disastrous.

Hornby Dublo was very careful to ensure that Mum didn't have to worry about little Johnny getting stuck under a bridge. In fact HD were always keen to represent in their catalogues precisely how their trains should be played with:

Just for your own safety then, this set comes complete with two BOXED loading gauges! In this instance, a loading gauge is a bar suspended over the rail, beneath which a train should be able to pass without banging its head. Kinda simple stuff really, providing the bar is set at the right height!

The dingly dangly things are still intact and they have never been abused! ....well perhaps once, when I tried to get a kitten on the well wagon....

1 comment:

  1. Well, apart from the HD advertisement where the adult pipe smoking is no longer de rigeur, everything else on this page appears to have a basis in acceptability. In fact, even as far back as 1883, the safety of railways was legendery. Tht was the year that Butler and Tanner, The Selwood Printing Works, situated in both Frome and London, printed the forth edition of the tome Our Iron Roads. Frederick S Williams was the author.
    Yes, there on page 439, between the real gilt edges, we are sagely told "that more people choke themselves in England than are killed on all the railways of the United Kingdom".
    You see how fine a point is placed on the statistics. Choking only occurs in England, whereas fatal accidents on railways, happen ALL over the kingdom.

    Now for the loading gauge D1. How is it that every light blue box that Hornby Dublo had printed, has D1 on it. Well almost all... you know what I mean. Coach boxes are printed D1, horse boxes boxes (yes that's double because it is a box, in a box ... listen!, listen!) are printed D1, cattle wagon boxes are printed D1, even coal wagon boxes are printed D1. And so are buffers, loading gauges and other accessories. But wait ....... what do I see? ...... she's walking back to meeeee....., oh God man, you are showing your age. Get over it!.
    But wait we said!! Signal boxes, ah aAH! (... no the cardboard ones, not the ones with windows, beside the tracks, and men leaning out with green flags, and little dogs sitting at the top of the stairway, guarding against other dogs, cats, rats, wives, girlfriends, etc etc..... no not those.). We are talking about blue cardboard boxes (some with white stripes) that had D3, yes D3 on them, and contained little model signals or such.
    Oh the wisdom of the universe, or the majesty of God. Or perhaps it was just the dumb side of Mr Hornby or his helpers.
    As you can see I am struck dumb with that one, can't figure it out no how!
    Thanks for listening.